I've been wanting to lose weight for as long as I can remember, but the whole reason I've decided to actually start eating healthier and exercising started a few days ago when I noticed giant black circles under my eyes when I woke up one morning. I started googling ways to get rid of them, hoping some magic cream would come along and solve all my problems. I read that the reasons for under eye circles are: lack of sleep, poor diet, and dehydration. I was getting enough sleep, so that led me to the conclusion that I need to be eating healthier and drinking more water if I want the bags under my eyes to go away. I just felt so ugly when I looked in the mirror and I knew I had to change something if I wanted to look at myself and be happy again. Every day after that initial realization, I would see myself in reflections of windows or glass doors and hate how wide I looked from far away. When I look in my full-length mirror at home before I leave for school, I only see myself from about a foot away and never realize that it changes my perception of myself. When people see me from far away, they see the huge, wide angle of me, the one I don't see in the morning. But I've been looking at my reflection a lot more and noticing that I hate how big I look. Both of these things were what finally convinced me that I need to change something if I want to be happy with the way that I look.
However, eating healthier has been extremely hard for me. I've had numerous thoughts about just stopping at McDonald's or Taco Bell on the way home and pigging out to make myself feel better. Like I said in my last post, food has always been a comfort to me. It's the only thing I have when I'm sad. It's like the snowball effect; I get sad because I see myself in mirrors and absolutely hate the way I look, and then I get even sadder because I don't have food to cheer me up. I just have to keep asking myself, which is more important: the food or the perfect body?
Neither! What's most important is being healthy. :)
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